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上海の高級住宅エリアである古北地区に位置する名都御庭。2006年10月1期オープンに次いで2期が誕生しました。
35万㎡の敷地には高級マンション60棟、ヨーロッパ式別荘25棟を備えており、その約５０％が緑に囲まれた環境の良さも魅力です。
99年に上海で中国建国50周年の最優秀住宅に表彰され、同年の上海グリーンの代表住宅にも指定されました。
敷地内に豪華なクラブハウス、スーパーマーケット、銀行、医療センター、美容院、クリーニング、幼稚園などの施設も充実しております。2期の室内プールに加え、1期のジム施設、テニスコート、野外プールの施設も利用可能。1期と2期は徒歩10分ほどですがシャトルバスが運行しておりショッピングにも便利です。
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My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
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The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
The truth is more important than the facts.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
Thanks mate... just dropped by. Will look for BIKE STN when we get to Seattle. Still in Buenos Airies.
buy viagraA man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A hen is only an egg
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
If there
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
Thanks mate... just dropped by. Will look for BIKE STN when we get to Seattle. Still in Buenos Airies.
buy viagraIt is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
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The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.